Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Filet de Oreille

I haven't posted in a while because nothing of any interest has happened here in sometime, unless you count the UFO landing last week in the field behind our house when six of our children were abducted and replaced two days later with robotic clones. But who hasn't had that happen. So I finally have something mildly interesting to share, plus it includes a photo. Admittedly, it's not as good as the foot in the brain photo, but it is ours. 
Yesterday Jarom was doing one of his usual stunts where he puts his left hand on the sofa, his right hand on the coffee table/cedar chest and swings himself forward.  Well, yesterday his right hand slipped. Hence Filet de Oreille ('ear' for you non-Frenchies).
So, I took him to the ER where, amazingly, we did not have to wait. Apparently filleted body parts are like a backstage pass, because you get right in. Back in Arizona when I had pneumonia and a 105º temp, they just sent me to the lobby: "Sorry, sir. Potential brain damage is of little concern. We've got a kid here who filleted his finger. Have you ever seen one of those. It's awesome." Apparently all the medical personnel on the other side of the double doors, that get slammed open by the gurney in the TV shows, take a vote on which case they'll see next:
"Okay, people. We've got a woman with cramps, an old man with a broken ankle, an old woman with kidney stones, a kid with a jungle-gym induced bump on the head who's blood pressure is 60 over 20, a guy with a 112º temperature and blood oozing out his ears, or a guy with a filleted right index finger."
"Can you see bone and stuff on the finger one?"
"Yes. It's totally gross....Okay, so how many want the crampy woman?...Okay, none. How many for the busted ankle...apparently he twisted it in the sand?...Okay, none.... Awe, who am I kidding. Who wants to see the gross looking finger?....Okay, that's 10, 11, 12....23. Okay, the finger it is!"
Anyway, the doctor was impressed that Jarom was the seventh child of eight so he worked seven stitches into the deal. What a guy! He probably charges by the stitch.
"Uh, doctor? Why does he have 138 stitches? It's only a busted lip."
"You can never be too careful with these things. That's why I'm the doctor and you're just a nurse."
Anyway, I was just glad to find out that Jarom is NOT one of the androids.

2 comments:

Casey said...

OOOH!!! Sad! I am so queezy (sp?) just looking at it but it's like a bad accident, I can't take my eyes off of it. Loved the story, but how'd he do it? What happened? Just don't get too graphic because by the looks of it, I don't think my stomach can take it.

Casey said...

BTW, do you think that you can write for my blog? I wish I was as clever as you when it comes to writing. I don't think you need much to happen around your house to come up with some good stories to write.